I really want to be one of those people who just trusts God so much that I can greet every bad thing that happens, whether it be a small bump in the road or a full on ditch, with a calm, peaceful presence. But I’m not. I am the queen of the worst case scenario. I have missed my calling in the military. There are people there who specialize in the worst case scenario. Their negative thinking is an asset in helping our troops be prepared. I like to tell myself that that is what I am doing too…being prepared. But that’s a lie. I’m worrying. And my worrying is preparing me for nothing, except maybe a headache. If you want to know what your worst case scenario is, just ask…I can give it to you in less than a minute. Thankfully (or maybe not) I have learned to keep all of my doom and gloom to myself.
I have a constant tension of knowing that God is good (Psalm 119:68, Luke 18:19, Nahum 1:7) and really trusting him with the things that matter the most to me. It’s easy for me to trust him with things that I have no perceived control over (world hunger, North Korea, natural disasters, etc.). But the people that I love, and situations or endeavors that I am invested in, I often hold them too tightly and bathe them in worry instead of prayer.
This is the time of year that the Christian church remembers and looks towards Easter. Lent is not something that I have officially observed, but I have always admired those who do. The people who give up real things that come between them and God, like social media, or alcohol, or whatever that thing is for you. (I had a friend in college who gave up potato chips for lent but still ate french fries. I’m not sure that this is what the early Christians had in mind…)
Kind of like we have fouled up Christmas, by making it overly commercial and materialistic…I think we, the church, have fouled up Easter too. We are in such a hurry to get to the resurrection that we miss out on knowing God through the quiet march of lent. We miss out on knowing him through the mockery of a trial, the brutal flogging, the barbaric crucifixion, and the 36 hours of being in the grave. Kate Bowler, Author of Everything Happens for a Reason, and Other Lies I’ve Loved, recently said in an interview that “…we Easter the crap out of lent”. If all we know of Jesus is the resurrection and the resurrection moments in our own lives, we are missing out on so much of the character of God. We are missing out on the clarity, simplicity, and joy that comes from really dark places when we choose to invite God in to them.
For some of us, things won’t work out in this life. We won’t get the job, or be able to have the baby, or the diagnosis we were hoping for. And that’s precisely why we have the account of the days before Jesus’ death and resurrection. If the authors of the Bible left all of those brutal details out, we would have no model for how to walk through hard times. Jesus did it with grace and mercy…loving people along the way. And although the Bible doesn’t say it, I have to think that Jesus laughed a lot. In my experience, you have to find the humor in hard times, or the weight of it all is too much to bear.
God was there with Jesus through all of it. And that’s his promise to us too, that he won’t leave us. He never says this life will be easy. Actually he says the opposite. (John 16:33 “In this world you will have trouble…”) I have lived long enough to know that the hard times are the ones that I am closest to God. The hospital waiting rooms, the late night searches on my computer to understand what the Dr said, the phone call from the scene of an accident, the checking account balance that won’t pay the bills…that’s where God is the most real to me. And there is no better example of how to walk with God in hard times than Jesus in the days leading up to his death. The rest of John 16:33 says, “take heart, I have overcome the world.”
Jesus did ask God for deliverance when he prayed in the garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:39), and I have done that many times myself. And when God said no, Jesus trusted him. When God says no to me, I mount a defense and complain. The worst case scenario happened to Jesus, and he quietly trusted God and kept loving the people around him. He knew the same thing about his heavenly father that I do. God is good, and he’ll never leave. Death wasn’t the end of Jesus’ painful, remarkable, beautiful story…and death is not our worst case scenario, not knowing God is.